Close this search box.
A teen sits with his arms folded with adults in the background

My mom has a new boyfriend I don't like. What can I do to get okay with this?

My mom has a new boyfriend and I don’t like it. She’s dated some guys since she and my Dad split up but she might get serious with this one. I feel bad about it because he’s not a bad guy or anything, It’s just weird when they’re together. What can I do to get ok with this?

Expert answer

Believe us, you’re not the first person to feel strange about this, and it’s okay to feel that way!

It’s understandable why someone doesn’t like it when their mom or dad is dating someone new: it might feel like the other parent is being replaced for one thing. You still have some feelings from when your mom and dad split up, no doubt, and that’s natural, too. It can be really hard; you might want to take a look at and check out the things they have to help teens figure all this out.

Or maybe it’s just been you and your mom for a long time, and suddenly you feel like her attention has shifted away from you a bit. Your mom loves you just as much as ever, and nothing will change that, certainly not a new guy she’s dating.

Like most people, your mom probably likes to go out and have a good time, so she wants someone in her life to date and make her feel special. So just keep in mind that she might have a new boyfriend, but that hasn’t changed how your mom feels about you.

You might not have thought about this, but the man your mom is dating might even be uncomfortable too. He’s probably not really sure how to act around you or what to say. You mentioned that he’s not a bad guy, so maybe you’ll feel okay being friendly to him. No big deal, “Hey, what’s up?” is all you need to start. If you feel like it later, take a minute or two just to chat with him, ask how he’s doing, that type of thing. You might be really surprised what a difference that can make.

You don’t have to be his best friend. Just let him know you’re okay too. And just if you want to go the extra step: if you mom seems happy, you will totally make her day by letting her know that you’re happy for her!

–The ASHA Staff