Close this search box.
Man with his head in his hands

I feel trapped in an abusive relationship, what can I do?

I’m gay and I feel trapped in an abusive relationship with another man. I don’t feel like I can talk to my friends at all, and I am afraid to report my partner. What should I do?

Expert answer

People of any gender or any sexual orientation can be abusers or victims of abuse; however, most support for victims of abuse is aimed toward women in abusive heterosexual relationships. Finding help if you are in a physically, sexually or emotionally abusive same-sex relationship can be especially difficult because getting help often involves “coming out” twice—about both your same-sex relationship and the abuse itself. Fortunately a number of individuals and organizations provide support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals in crisis.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you are not in immediate danger, seek out an LGBTQ-friendly advocate or organization who can help you make a plan to get and stay safe. Therapists, counselors, social workers, attorneys, church pastors, hotline volunteers, and physicians are examples of people who can make effective advocates.

The Network/La Red’s 24-hour hotline ( 800-832-1901 ) provides confidential emotional support, information, referrals, safety planning, and crisis intervention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and/or transgender (LGBTQ+) folks, as well as folks in kink and polyamorous communities who are being abused or have been abused by a partner.

Other LGBTQ-Friendly Resources:

–Amy Stapleford, M.Ed.