Below are some of the questions people like you have sent us about relationships. Click the question to see or hide answers from our experts.
People of any gender or any sexual orientation can be abusers or victims of abuse; however, most support for victims of abuse is aimed toward women in abusive heterosexual relationships. Finding help if you are in a physically, sexually or emotionally abusive same-sex relationship can be especially difficult because getting help often involves “coming out” twice—about both your same-sex relationship and the abuse itself. Fortunately a number of individuals and organizations provide support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals in crisis.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
If you are not in immediate danger, seek out an LGBTQ-friendly advocate or organization who can help you make a plan to get and stay safe. Therapists, counselors, social workers, attorneys, church pastors, hotline volunteers, and physicians are examples of people who can make effective advocates.
The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project provides information and services to help you find safety and support. Call their hotline at 800-832-1901, or visit their website. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs: National Advocacy for LGBT Communities is another resource.
Other LGBTQ-Friendly Resources:
- The GLBT National Resource Database can help you find GLBT-friendly individuals and organizations, including Community Centers, crisis services, health care providers, hotlines, legal services, religious organizations, support services, and other professional services.
- For peer counseling and referrals to LGBT-friendly businesses(including lawyers, doctors and various counseling professionals)call the GLBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4565.
- Find a physician or therapist at the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association’s referral page.
- Find a therapist or counselor at the Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues in Counseling.
- Find LGBT-friendly churches at GayChurch.org.
--Amy Stapleford, M.Ed.
Believe us, you’re not the first person to feel strange about this, and it’s ok to feel that way!
It’s understandable why someone doesn’t like it when their mom or dad is dating someone new: it might feel like the other parent is being replaced for one thing. You still have some feelings from when your mom and dad split up, no doubt, and that’s natural, too. It can be really hard; you might want to take a look at kidshealth.org and check out the things they have to help teens figure all this out.
Or maybe it’s just been you and your mom for a long time, and suddenly you feel like her attention has shifted away from you a bit. Your mom loves you just as much as ever, and nothing will change that, certainly not a new guy she’s dating. Like most people, your mom probably likes to go out and have a good time, so she wants someone in her life to date and make her feel special. So just keep in mind that she might have a new boyfriend, but that hasn’t changed how your mom feels about you.
You might not have thought about this, but the man your mom is dating might even be uncomfortable too. He’s probably not really sure how to act around you or what to say. You mentioned that he’s not a bad guy, so maybe you’ll feel ok being friendly to him. No big deal, “Hey, what’s up?” is all you need to start. If you feel like it later, take a minute or two just to chat with him, ask how he’s doing, that type of thing. You might be really surprised what a difference that can make. You don’t have to be his best friend, just let him know you’re ok, too. And just if you want to go the extra step: if you mom seems happy, you will totally make her day by letting her know that you’re happy for her!
--The ASHA Staff