These techniques have helped other parents improve communication with their children.

• Discover and explain why talking about sexuality may be difficult. There are many reasons why parents hesitate to talk about sexuality. A parent may:
  • Feel embarrassed or lack confidence in answering questions.
  • Be afraid that talking about sexuality will encourage sexual activities
  • Feel uncomfortable thinking of children as sexual beings.
  • Think the child is not ready for the information.
  • Not have thought through or talked about family values and beliefs.
• Consider what might happed if you do not talk with your child. If a child doesn't learn about sexuality issues from a parent, the child will learn about sexuality elsewhere-from friends, magazines, television and other sources. This information can be incorrect, confusing and may not agree with the parent's beliefs. Research shows that uninformed children are at greater risk for early sexual activity, sexually transmitted diseases (including AIDS), pregnancy, sexual exploitation and abuse.
• Focus on your goals. Even if you are uncomfortable talking about sexuality, the purpose of these conversations with your child is usually to:
  • answer questions and eliminate fears.
  • build the child's self-confidence.
• Plan how to respond to questions. Parents who are uncomfortable talking about sexuality may find it helpful to plan what they will say and how they might answer their child's questions. When your child asks a question or does something that triggers a teachable moment, you may find this three-step response format useful:
  1. Make sure you know what the child is asking. (Ask your child, "Do you mean...?" or "Do you want to know about...?")
  2. Discover why the child is asking. Is your child trying to:
     • Check a fact?
     • Make sure he or she is normal?
     • Test your knowledge?
     • Explore his or her values?
     • Satisfy curiosity?
  3. After you've decided what to say, keep it short and simple.
• Respond immediately to your child's need to know. Even if your child asks a question at a difficult time, it is better to answer right away, if only briefly. You can always resume the discussion later when you have collected your thoughts or when you have more privacy.
• Be sensitive to your expressions and gestures. The way you answer a question is sexuality education, too. Don't forget to smile, and remember that a good sense of humor can help communication.
• Take the initiative, if necessary. If, by age six, your child isn't asking questions, it's up to you to find moments to begin talking about sexuality issues. The earlier you begin communicating with your child, the easier it will be.
• Get and give support. Talk with other parents and see how they're doing. Find out about sexuality education programs offered by your school, religious organization or other community service groups.

If you have any concerns about your child's development, talk with your health care provider, knowledgeable family members, or other parents. Reach out to others for information, understanding, and ideas on how to maintain open communication with your child. Support from others can help you and your child through the awkwardness and uncertainty of dealing with sexuality education.


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