• They are embarrassed about buying or getting condoms;
• feel peer/date pressure;
• use alcohol and drugs;
• have a lack of knowledge;
• believe using birth control pills is enough protection;
• are embarrassed about asking questions; and,
• don't think ahead of time.

Sex For the First Time

Just having sex for the first time can be a huge emotional event. There many questions and feelings that you may want to sort out before you actually get "in the heat of the moment."

Questions about yourself:

• Am I really ready to have sex?
• How am I going to feel about myself after I have sex?
• How am I going to feel about my partner afterwards?
• Am I doing this for the right reasons?

Questions about your upbringing:

• How do your parents feel about you having sex?
• What is the position of your church, synagogue or temple on the subject?
• Will you have to lie about having sex later?
• Will you feel guilty?

Questions about your health:

• How do you plan to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy?
• Will your decisions affect your mental or social health?
• Are you well informed on the possible consequences of a pregnancy or an STD?

Good things to remember

• You are never truly alone. There is always some help somewhere for you. Find a friend you trust, your school nurse or counselor, or maybe even your mom or dad. Talk with them.
  
  
• A local STD clinic will help you know what you can be tested for and when testing will be accurate. Remember, if you decide to have sex, you can decide not to have sex any more until you're ready.

Something to Think About

Deciding to have sex or not is probably one of the biggest decisions you will have to make. You do not have to have sex before you are ready. It's OK to decide to wait to have sex if that is what you wish. Sex can be fun, but "fun" only lasts for a moment. Other possible consequences of sex, such as an STD or an unplanned pregnancy, can last for a lifetime. Whatever your decision is, be prepared to look at yourself in the morning.

What if Sex Was Forced?

If you live in an abusive household or if you are a survivor of rape or date rape, find help soon so that you can feel safe and start to heal. This is a scary experience and can make you feel guilty, angry, dirty and responsible. Always remember that it was not your fault and look for help. School counselors or local rape crisis centers can be helpful.

Some girls think it's cool to date older guys. Just remember that older guys may be ready for sex when you're not. If you have an older boyfriend who wants to have sex, remember it's your choice, you decide.

Choosing "Yes"

Deciding to have sexual intercourse with another person is a very personal and private matter. You, and no one else, can make that decision. However, in this Web site, we help get you thinking about your body, emotions, personal values and life goals so that you can make a wise choice if, when and how you choose to have sex.

Why Do Some Teens Have Sex?

Here are a few of the reasons that some teenagers decide to have sex. As you read this list, try to think of which of these reasons would affect you the most. Do you think these answers are good reasons or bad reasons?

Some Teenagers Have Sex Because:

• They want to feel accepted.
• It feels good.
• It's "cool" to have sex.
• It's easier to have sex than to talk about it or say no.
• They want feel close to someone.
• They feel peer pressure.
• They're in love.
• They want to experiment.
• They have raging hormones.

Some Things to Think About Before You Have Sex:

• Is this something I really want to do at this point in my life?
• Am I emotionally ready for all the feelings a sexual relationship brings up?
• Am I ready to make some life-changing decisions if this results in a pregnancy?
• Am I taking precautions to prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or pregnancy?
• Am I being pressured into having sex even though it's not what I want to do?
• Am I going to feel bad afterwards if this goes against my personal values or I wasn't really ready?

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